Ben Franklin's Kite
by Villageidiot54
Summary: ROBBIE HAS CANCER. HE'S DYING. SONGIFC ABOUT HIM. I'M SAD ONLY 2 PPL READ MY STORY! THANKS A LOT!!!!!!!!! MAKE ME SAD!!!!!!!!!!!! BLAH! READ ANYWAYS, I STILL LOVE YA ALL! PLEASE R/R! I AM VAIN AND WANNA KNOW WHAT U THINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Hey Providence fans. Only AJ liked my last story *glares at everyone else*, I can't really help it if I SUCK at summaries. Oh well, we can't like everything, right? Right! Hehe. Well this story might be sad, I don't know. Please enjoy. DISCLAIMER- If I owned Providence, I'd take baths in money. But I don't own Providence, so I wouldn't have any money to give you if the ppl sued me. SO DON'T SUE!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
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I sat up in bed, as fast as I could. It was hot, very hot. I pushed my covers away from me. I had a dream about Tina again, when Tina was alive. When everything was peachy keen. When I was okay, and when I had my beautiful wife.  
  
I remember her voice as if she were speaking to me. "Life's not fair," was her favorite expression to Pete. Well Tina was right, wasn't she? Wasn't she? Damn it, Tina was right. I thought, I could take care of Pete and Luke after Tina died. Well I was wrong. Now, I had my whole family helping. I couldn't see, I'd puke my intestines out during the day, take pills, and come home and sleep. Yes, life wasn't fair. I couldn't go outside and play with Pete. I couldn't go over to Luke and see his face.  
  
Give me an answer  
  
Why this cancer eats me away  
  
How this restlessness  
  
could turn into a day.  
  
I fear what comes first  
  
the things that hide in the night  
  
but I'm quaking, and shaking  
  
Even now that it's light  
  
And no I don't feel right  
  
I can see but I've lost my sight  
  
I'm high, so high  
  
Like Ben Franklin's Kite  
  
I may have been blind, but I could see everything. I could still see my sweetheart Hannah running around, I could picture Luke as a five month old baby even if he was one now, he was five months in my mind, I could see Pete's face as he caught baseballs, I could see my family sitting at the dinner table eating, I could even see my wife, Tina. It was funny, because in my eyes no one ever changed. I would hear Syd complain about a gray, but she still had her bouncy brown hair.  
  
I was going through chemo, and sick all the time. I could barely spend time with anyone. Some days I'd be okay, others I was sick. And when I was sick, I was sick. I lost all my hair, which Hannah reminded me about a lot. She was cute when she did it though. I pictured her with little pigtails in a sundress, standing there all wide-eyed and innocent. Saying, "Unkie Robbie, Grandpa has more hair than you." I'd smile, but then a sudden urge of depression went over my body.  
  
And maybe you'll find me  
  
On another lonely street  
  
By the smell of summer,  
  
after she rains  
  
Maybe you'll loose me  
  
All together in her heat  
  
Let this humid air  
  
Take away my pain  
  
And no I don't feel right  
  
I can see but I've lost my sight  
  
'cause I'm high, so high  
  
Like Ben Franklin's Kite  
  
A lot of times, I'd take walks. Usually Fearless would walk me around, I could get around. But, Fearless warned me of things. He'd steer me away from buildings, he was a great dog. I'd walk around during the hot summer days. extremely hot. Especially when it was raining, the rain felt nice. I liked walking during the heat warnings. I just hoped for a heat stroke to kill me. I didn't want to suffer. No one understood my pain. Not only my pain from chemo.but the emotional pain. I had support.but I wasn't Robbie. I wasn't Robbie Hansen.no matter how much I tried. Robbie could see, he could work, he had a wife, and he could take care of his kids. I couldn't. A heat stroke would kill me fast, and end the pain and suffering, I had enough.  
  
Maybe you're weary  
  
You always stand so tall  
  
Maybe you, holier than thou  
  
Will make me crawl  
  
I don't claim to be better  
  
I don't think that you do  
  
But see I'm weak and incessant  
  
My addictions the proof  
  
And no I don't feel right  
  
I can see but I've lost my sight  
  
I'm high, so high  
  
Like Ben Franklin's Kite  
  
I stood up, and called Fearless quietly. It was nighttime; I wanted to take a walk. I heard Fearless coming. He came next to my bed; I put my hand on the nightstand and moved my hand around until I found the leash. I hooked it on his collar, and he walked me out of the house.  
  
It was a hot summer night, I could smell rain in the air. I never appreciated smells like that until I was blind. I never appreciated anything! I never once appreciated a single damn thing. Oh how dumb I was. I thought about the time, my friends and I climbed the water tower. We stood up there for a long time; I could still see the view. The view of Providence. It was beautiful, I talked about leaving the "stupid ass whacked out town", then. I was so glad I didn't. I loved Providence.  
  
I stopped Fearless, and sat on the ground. I wished I was up on the tower again, feeling the wind blow through my hair, I wished I was that high up again. Oh it felt good to be so high.  
  
Suddenly the sky opened up, and it poured heavily. I took my shirt off, and put it over Fearless. The rain felt good, I moved my head up towards the sky. It was down pouring, it felt wonderful on my face. Then I thought, if I could go back to the water tower. I would have stayed there longer. I wouldn't have left. the view.the air.the smell.  
  
I felt a sharp pain rush through my stomach. I got up, I knew I needed to get home. I was getting sick. As I walked home, I wished. I wished I could get struck by lightening, the pain was unbearable. The pain, and agony from chemo and cancer was too much to handle. I would never take my own life.but if the lightening did. Maybe, if I were high up in the water tower, the lightening would get me better. Or maybe if I were a kite up on the water tower, and got struck. I didn't care how crazy I sounded, everyone can dream..  
  
And maybe I'm crazy  
  
but lightning might strike me tonight  
  
And Maybe I'm crazy  
  
but lightning might strike me tonight  
  
~~  
  
Ah it sucked more than I thought it would. I love the song. It's by Something Corporate. Please review. 


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